Wednesday 13 November 2019 by Lucas Wilde

“Participation trophies are stupid” declares generation that decided to dish them out in the first place


Man gave out millennials participation trophies

Generation X and older has declared participation trophies are a terrible idea, which they came up with.

Forming the basis of a hackneyed rant about “snowflakes” or something, many people born in 1980 and before are suggesting that giving millennials a small trinket for taking part has turned them all soft.

“It’s a stupid idea. Bloody millennials,” said Simon Williams, a 54-year-old bacon taster from Stourbridge.

“What’s the point of a participation trophy? It’s just namby-pamby do-goodedness by a load of snowflakes

“Hmm? Who made them a thing? Well, the teachers and that, obviously, who are…roughly…the same age as me…

“Oh.

“Well…I mean…no, that’s not…WHAT?!”

Social historian, Jay Cooper, said, “Simon is right to have his head explode.

“Participation trophies have actually been knocking around since the 1940s. Millennials didn’t invent them. They may have RECEIVED them, but that’s different from inventing.

“Such concepts carry on into adulthood as well. Everybody who runs the London Marathon gets a medal, as I recall – even if you spend it walking for seven hours.

“And Phil gets the exact same wage as me despite the fact he hasn’t done any work since early 2013.”

Sophie Flanders, 14, said, “Yeah, I got this little plastic trophy for taking part in the school sports day, but it’s not like I demanded a trophy or anything.

“It’s not like it’s anything interesting or useful, like money or a future where we’re not all fighting over water due to the horrendous decisions you lot have made over the last hundred years.”

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