Friday 8 November 2019

Jacob Rees-Mogg heads to Yorkshire to tell everyone to use common sense and evacuate immediately


Rees-mogg advice to yorkshire

Jacob Rees-Mogg has headed to Yorkshire to deliver his own special brand of emergency advice, by telling anyone with a puddle outside their house to leave it immediately.

Rees-Mogg, who has developed something of a reputation for delivering excellent advice after the fact, has taken to offering his common-sense approach to those still in need of assistance.

He told them, “I have been watching the news closely, and I would recommend every inhabitant of Yorkshire immediately evacuate their properties and head for higher ground.  Preferably further north.

“It’s just common sense, why would you wait for the water to get high enough that you have to leave – that just wastes time.

“I don’t care what the experts are telling you, we don’t listen to experts, and I’m telling you the common sense approach is always to leave.

“Remaining would be a terrible mistake, mark my words.”

The intervention from Rees-Mogg has not been welcomed by the emergency services on the ground.

Fire service representative Simon Williams told us, “Yes, Jacob’s involvement is most welcome. In the same way one welcomes a vicious bout of haemorrhoids.

“Encouraging the public to ignore the advice of the emergency services will endanger lives, there is no other way to put it. Grenfell was an absolute tragedy, but it wasn’t caused by people listening to firemen, it was caused by flammable cladding, and a lack of investment from the local authority that rendered the building’s anti-fire measures ineffective.

“All that said, it is not in any way surprising to find a Brexiter advocating for people to ignore advice of experts.”

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