Thursday 7 November 2019

Entire nation left gobsmacked as John Bercow reveals himself to be a Remainer


John Bercow is a remainer

Former speaker of the house John Bercow has left the entire nation shellshocked after revealing that he believes Brexit is a bad idea.

Due to the position of the speaker being unbiased and without political opinions, no-one had any inkling which way Bercow leaned, so the revelation that he thought Brexit was a bad idea all along has stunned many political commentators.

“I would never have guessed,” said Simon Williams, chief political reporter at The Telegraph.

“Of course there are only two possible guesses, but I wouldn’t have guessed that one.  Just look at his track record, the amendments he’s allowed for debate and vote, those he’s chosen to ignore, government moves he’s squashed – how does that possibly tally with him being anti-Brexit.

“All I can say is that it is a testament to his ability as Speaker that he was able to keep this secret for so long. We can only hope Sir Lindsay Hoyle can keep his own opinions to himself as well as Mr Bercow.”

Bercow himself told reporters, “I think Brexit is a bad idea because I’m not a fucking idiot.

“There, I said it.

“Wow, it is such a relief to finally get it out there. All this pent up frustration at not being able to let anyone know what I thought was really getting to me. Do you know how hard it is to bite your tongue for three years?

“I feel about five stone lighter!”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: