World leaders led by Donald Trump are confident they will be able to successfully ignore a new study that declares Climate change to be a ‘clear and unequivocal’ emergency.
Initially it had been thought that the study, which is endorsed by 11,000 scientists, would force governments to work together and solve the problem. However, the global determination to do nothing about climate change has, once again, won out.
“Oh sure, you can prove anything with science,” said Donald Trump, in response to the study.
“But, I think that what you’ve got to do is put the science to one side and ask the question – do I feel colder than I did twenty years ago and, for me, I know I don’t.
“So, these scientists. These 11,000 scientists. When I feel colder, I’ll let you know, but for now I think we can ignore this.”
Boris Johnson, Britain’s Prime Minister for the next few weeks chose a different way to ignore it.
“Well, obviously, reports like this are tremendously important, and that’s why we need to focus on completely different things that I want to focus on like Brexit and having inappropriate and sexy relationships with attractive American businesswomen.”
Vladimir Putin simply cackled when asked about the report and supped on what appeared to be a cup of blood.
Other leaders were busy doing war with other leaders but promised to ignore the report at some point.
It is expected that when the entire population of the world is forced to move to central Europe as that is the only habitable bit of the world left, then global leaders will consider thinking about climate change.