Friday 1 November 2019

Workington man voting Monster Raving Loony Party


Workington man voting monster raving loony party

Political analysts have insisted all predictions must go out of the window and the general election is now all to play for after a Workington man insisted he would be voting for the Monster Raving Loony Party.

Derek Williams, 52, and a life-long resident of the Cumbrian town of Workington insisted that he’d looked at the options available to him and decided that the only party he actually trusts it he Monster Raving Loony Party.

Williams told us, “I get it, they’re unlikely to win a majority – but if they did – IF – then I would have complete confidence in them delivering the manifesto promises they make.

“They promised to ban greyhound racing to stop the country going to the dogs, and I think that is a far more achievable aim than delivering a ‘jobs-first Brexit’.

“If the Monster Raving Loony Party tells me they’re going to deliver something, then I think I can count on that word more than the word of Boris Johnson or Nigel Farage, right?”

Pollsters have been scrambling to create new models for the election after hearing that the Workington man is going down the Monster Raving Loony route.

As one explained, “All our work has gone in the bin. We had assumed that Workington man was likely a torn socialist who voted to leave and was now facing a three-way struggle to decide who to vote for.  We didn’t think he’d be an even bigger idiot.

“In fact, the only part of our model that we’re still 100% confident of is the bit that says the Lib Dems won’t win.”

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