Concern as nation’s stock of bile and vitriol may be too low to sustain a General Election

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There are worries that current stocks of bile and vitriol in the UK may not be enough to sustain the population for the eight-week run-up to the general election.

The concern comes after it was revealed that the last 12 months of attritional politics has used up to 90% of the country’s stockpiles of both bile and vitriol, and with the ongoing political trauma surrounding parliament’s paralysis, there has been no chance to restock.

“I do think that people take for granted exactly how much bile and vitriol is needed during a General Election,” said Simon Williams, Professor of physical manifestations of anger and hatred at Oxford University.

“There are family dinners, watching Question Time, seeing Boris Johnson on television. On any normal day these simple activities would take up a remarkable amount of bile and vitriol, but that would be at least doubled during a General Election cycle.

“And that’s not even taking into account the amount of bile and vitriol that will be expended on social media.”

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Professor Williams paints a bleak picture.

“With stocks of bile and vitriol where they are, I can’t see it lasting more than a week, ten days at most into the Election campaign, and then we might all be forced to accept the whole pantomime with nothing more than a weary shrug.”

In the past, Britain has been able to import bile and vitriol from the US which seems to manufacture vast quantities of both.

Unfortunately, President Trump seems to have used up all the bile and vitriol in America by just running his Twitter account.