Monday 28 October 2019

Farrow & Ball offer Mark Francois a job as further Brexit delay sees his face turn a never-before-seen shade of puce


Mark Francois on brexit delay

Extremist Brexiter and ERG deputy Chairman Mark Francois has had some bad news and some good news this morning.

After learning that the UK will not be leaving the EU on 31st October and will now remain until at least next year, Francois’ face began turning a deeper and more purple shade than experts had previously thought possible.

This led to interior design firm Farrow & Ball getting in touch with the Rayleigh MP to see if they could sample his face to add its colour to their latest range.

A Farrow & Ball executive told us, “We’ve got all sorts of wonderful colour and names in our latest range, there’s Elephant’s Breath, Ringwold Ground and Dead Salmon – all very emotive tones – and we think ‘Brexiters Impotence’ will be a fine addition to our line-up.

“Mark spent fifteen minutes spluttering, but we’re confident that when he calms down he’ll agree to join us.”

Remainers across the country have admitted that they quite like the idea of having a feature wall inside their home demonstrating Brexiters impotence.

As one told us, “As long as Mark Francois himself doesn’t come round to paint it, I’m in.”

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