Wednesday 23 October 2019 by Chris Ballard

BBC apologises for accusing Tory of having sense of humour


BBC apologises to Priti Patel

The BBC has been forced to apologise to Home Secretary Priti Patel for suggesting she had displayed a shred of humanity by laughing at something.

BBC presenter Andrew Marr has said sorry to Priti Patel for telling her, ‘I can’t see why you’re laughing,’ during an interview about Brexit.

The Home Secretary has always insisted she wasn’t laughing and was merely displaying smug contempt towards Marr and his audience of remoaner snowflakes.

Home Office spokesman Simon Williams said, “Ms Patel is, of course, a Conservative. Therefore wherever she is and whoever she’s speaking to she’s always thinking the same thought – ‘look at these fools.’ Her facial expression merely reflects this.

“Priti wouldn’t recognise a joke if one became leader of her party and went on to lose every major vote he brought before the House.

“She thinks a ‘setup’ is when you leak stories to the press about a rival politician’s sordid drug habit.

“Her only understanding of the term ‘payoff’ is when you give someone loads of cash to prevent your own sordid drug habit being leaked to the press.

“Her first thought when she sees a stand-up comedian is ‘Are they being paid in cash and therefore evading tax?’

“Rest assured that she is entirely humourless and doesn’t even appreciate mildly amusing things like irony – such as the daughter of immigrants denying others the opportunities she has enjoyed.”

In a statement, Ms Patel said, “I smugly appreciate Andrew Marr correcting his mistake and look forward to sneering on his show in the future.”

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