Friday 11 October 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Liz Truss successfully puts on her own shoes


Liz Truss puts shoes on

The department for International Trade has announced that minister Liz Truss successfully put on her own shoes this morning.

Ms Truss has been trying, without success, to put on her own shoes for some forty years now, which makes her achievement all the more impressive.

“She actually came very close to putting on her own shoes in that cold winter a few years ago,” said an aide.

“Sadly, she got a bit confused with the laces and accidentally set fire to the bin.”

Ms Truss managed to put on her own shoes at approximately 7.20am this morning when she left home for her constituency office.

“I met her at her door, as usual, to help put on her shoes but she slapped me away and said ‘no Nigel, this time I really think I can do it,” continued the aide.

“Sure enough, forty short minutes later, she was standing there proudly in her shoes without any help at all.

“I gave her a little clap and we set off for the office.

“I can only hope she masters wiping her own arse soon,” he added.

The announcement that Ms Truss has successfully put on her own shoes has seen her political stock rise, with many people now believing her new-found talent puts her in the top 20% of government ministers in terms of competence.

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