A leave voter is willing to publicly hold completely contradictory views on the state of Brexit, it has emerged.
Simone Williams, a newly qualified dolls house surveyor from South London, made an appeared on BBC’s flagship weekly shoutfest Question Time to inform everyone that somehow she knew exactly what she was voting for, and also that no-one actually knows what ‘this’ will eventually be.
“Oh I knew EXACTLY what I was voting for,” yelled Simone with a bewildering grimace of pride, confusion and anger.
“It’s just you remoaners who think we didn’t know, we knew alright. We knew precisely what we were doing.
“Just to be clear, we voted Leave either to leave with a deal, leave with no-deal, leave with some sort of Norway model for trade, or threaten to leave and then expect the EU to offer us a deal.
“I voted for there to be a hard border with Ireland or not a hard border with Ireland, a possible soft border between Ireland and Northern Ireland or maybe an imaginary border in the Irish Sea.
“And on that ballot paper three years ago I voted for Brexit to either lead to Scottish Independence, or to make the Union stronger.”
She concluded, “Oh I think it’s pretty clear that I knew what I was voting for, so don’t you try patronising me by telling me I didn’t!
“Just because no-one knows what will happen at the end of this month, doesn’t mean it won’t be precisely what I voted for three years ago.
“I suppose because you’re all know-it-all Remoaners you’re going to insist that just because everything would have stayed exactly the same if the referendum had gone the other way you know exactly what would have happened. Well that’s rubbish, we’d all have been conscripted to the EU army if we had!”