Turkey starts bombing Kurds because f*ck you that’s why

author avatar by 4 years ago

Turkey has commenced airstrikes against anybody they damn well please in Syria because fuck you, they have confirmed today.

Premier Erdogan had offered to assist in international efforts to combat widely-disliked bearded nutters Islamic State, but has subsequently expanded operations to include people who were his allies until yesterday when American forces withdrew.

Reports that the bombing has begun against the Kurds, who have supported US and western forces against ISIS for years and were integral to the liberation of their territory, have led to Erdogan giving world leaders the finger and asking precisely what they hope to do about it.

Turkey has extensive interests in the region, and a spokesman said today’s actions were carried out in order to support regional stability and fuck you.

“When Turkey starts shooting it’s usually against people who aren’t capable of putting up much of a fight,” said Professor Simon Williams of the Institute of Oh What Now Studies.

“You know, lightly armed regional militias, their own citizenry, close friends, that sort of thing.

“In the West, an invitation to commence military action is usually the beginning of a round of meetings, planning sessions, and parliamentary votes lasting months.

“In Turkey, they mean in the next half hour or so.”

It has been suggested that the military action has been ordered in order to distract ordinary Turks from an ongoing financial crisis and to prop up Erdogans’s popularity at home, and it must be pointed out that it’s worked every time he’s done it in the past.