After Jennifer Arcuri refused to say whether or not she’s had sex with Boris Johnson, the many many women who haven’t, insisted they would be perfectly happy confirming that fact.
Arcuri was interviewed on television this morning, but refused to deny sleeping with the then London mayor at the time she was given £120,000 of funding by his office.
However, the millions of women who have not slept with Boris Johnson have insisted that they would be perfectly happy to go on record that at no point has Boris Johnson’s penis been within the vicinity of their vaginas.
Woman, Simone Williams told us, “She was asked, outright, if she had an affair with Boris, and refused to answer saying she had a right to privacy.”
“I get it. I get that everyone has a right to privacy, but why wouldn’t you give that up when the alternative is a nation of people utterly convinced that you’ve had the hunched and sweating form of Boris hanging out the back of you.
“No, I’d much rather give up whatever privacy I have and let it be known, widely and publicly, that I have never had sex with Boris Johnson. Never.”
Others have agreed with Simone, with one telling us, “I have shagged my fair share of losers, trust me, but I’d draw the line at Boris. Even with beer goggles on I don’t think I could stoop that low.
“Wait, she got a £120,000 out of it? Well, I suppose if we turned the lights off…”