Monday 7 October 2019 by Pete Redfern

Pizza Express employees delighted that impending closure of chain has flooded internet with brilliant jokes about Calzone


Pizza Express

Pizza Express employees are to spend their last few working days chuckling over a joke about Calzone, according to reports.

With the announcement this morning that Pizza Express has hired financial advisors after revealing they have debts of £655m, the spirits of their employees were lifted when they saw a joke doing the rounds on the Internet.

“I nearly cried when I read on the news that Pizza Express could be following Jamie’s Italian as the latest chain to go bankrupt,” explained Simon Williams, a waiter at the Little Arseworth branch of Pizza Express.

But then I saw a gag on Twitter about Calzone and instantly forgot about my impending redundancy.”

He explained, “It’s very clever, you see – if a business goes down, it is said to have folded. Our chain is called ‘Pizza Express’, and so if it folds, it will – metaphorically – be like a folded pizza, which is actually called Calzone.

“So a lot of people are saying that after we have gone bankrupt we could be renamed ‘Calzone Express’, geddit? Brilliant! I’ve read it at least one hundred and sixty times today from one hundred and sixty different Twitter accounts and it doesn’t cease to be funny.”

Wiping away a tear, which was definitely a tear of mirth, not sadness, he concluded, “It’s made my day. I’ve even forgotten why I was sad in the first pl-

“Oh.”

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