A large red bus may have become the centrepiece of the Leave campaign after Boris Johnson had sex with the woman who sells them.
As questions continue to be raised about how much money Boris has given to people he’s had sex with, it has emerged that the Brexit bus might have only come to be because Boris likes to cum.
Leave campaigner Simon Williams told us, “I can assure you that ‘big red bus’ was nowhere to be seen in our marketing plan, until Boris went for a quick knee-trembler with Sharon Williams of Williams Buses – the UK’s leading purveyor of fine buses.
“They were just pitching stuff to us once they realised how much money we had to spend, but Boris had a ‘quick lunch’ with their top saleswoman and then came back to the office telling us that ‘big red buses’ were the future and we needed to buy dozens of them.
“We finally agreed to get one, but he kept repeating the phrase, ‘three buses means threesome’ – we never did get to the bottom of that.”
Financial analysts are currently wondering if there might be a link between Boris’ unusual spending habits while in office, and any opportunity he might have been given for a quickie.
As one explained, “We’re not saying we’ve found anything definitive with Boris throwing taxpayer money around when he gets laid, but I can tell you that so far it appears the Germans hired a leggy blonde to sell him the water canons, and the guys behind the garden bridge hired a designer with the biggest boobs they could find.”