Today’s young people both over-sensitive snowflakes and violent hoodlums with no consideration or manners, confirms Daily Mail

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The Daily Mail is up to its usual bullshit, according to reports this morning.

With all the consistency of your nan’s custard, the “newspaper” declares that today’s youth are either over-sensitive, namby-pamby, vegan snowflakes OR inconsiderate, self-centred, often violent hoodlums depending on what day it is, or sometimes which page you’re reading.

“Bloody youth of today need to get a grip,” grumbled Mail columnist, Simon Williams.

“They’re always whining about climate change, or veganism, or gay rights, or any other nonsense they find important but I happen not to and is therefore null and void.

“But they’re also self-centred and always on their phones and care about nothing but themselves, despite all the things I mentioned just now.

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“They’re so sensitive and wussy, but I’m also terrified of them because they’re also very imposing and terrifying and they all carry knives.

“I am scoffing at them for being snowflakes, and then apologising immediately in case they heard me.”

Young person, Jay Cooper, sighed “Whatever.

“You lot can whinge and moan to yourselves. Nothing I do in either direction is going to stop you.

“I’m just going to go home to my rented bedsit I can barely afford, because you lot have destroyed the housing market, and get high on the marijuana you keep telling me is bad but produced most of the music you enjoy and use to belittle my own music choices.

“And I’m getting a vegan sausage roll on the way. Suck my twenty-something dick.”

“SEE?!” added Williams.