The weather has actually become autumnal, which means climate change is officially a hoax.
Temperatures dropped to ten degrees celsius and below across Britain today, which is roughly what should be happening in October, as opposed to the ridiculously tropical weather which occurred throughout much of September.
“Ah, see? It’s bullshit,” said Simon Williams, looking out of his window and confusing “weather” with “climate” for the 867th time.
“The weather on this particular day is entirely predictable for October in Britain so that Greta girl, Jason Momoa and all the others can jump down a mine shaft without a torch.
“I’m definitely right, and my conclusion is based on what I can see out the window right now, just like most of my conclusions.”
Scientist, Jay Cooper, said, “Yeah, no, that’s not how it works.
“Climate, and climate change, is more about weather over a period of many years, rather than whether or not you have to pop a coat on today.
“I have some graphs and some actual studies here. I can set them up in front of your window if you like?
“Oh, Simon’s closed the curtains and put the snooker on.”