Wednesday 2 October 2019

I lied to Boris about voting Leave, because that’s what he would’ve wanted, insists Boris’ mum


Boris Johnson's mum voted Remain

Boris Johnson’s mum has admitted she lied to him about voting Leave because she thought that was the best way to get what she wanted, according to sources this afternoon.

After Johnson used his mother during his headline conference speech, telling delegates that she had voted Leave, his mum was quick to put the record straight by explaining, “No.”

She went on, “He asked how I voted and I considered telling him the truth, but honestly, Boris has always appreciated a good lie, ever since he was a little boy – so I told him a lie.

“I’m not an idiot, and neither is his Dad, sister or brother – we all voted Remain, but I really wanted a peaceful family dinner, and obviously the best way to get what you want is was to lie.

“No, I’ve no idea where Boris gets it from.

“His name’s not even Boris, it’s Dave – we just thought Boris suited him better when he got a bit older. But keep that to yourself, I think if we started telling the truth now it might trigger some sort of episode.”

Meanwhile, delegates inside the room have been left wondering why the news that an elderly white woman voted for Brexit is considered some sort of revelation.

As one explained, “It would be news if she had voted Labour, but an old middle-class lady voting to leave the EU is about as surprising as Boris lying to the queen or him not being able to name however many illegitimate children it is that he has now.

“Still, disappointing as it was, it was a million times better than Theresa’s.”

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