Tuesday 1 October 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Esther McVey returns home to 2D house


Esther Mcvey lives in  2D house

Esther McVey has returned home to her simple 2D house after giving a barnstorming Tory conference speech extolling a brave new world of ‘3D architects’.

Despite a brief detour into some hardcore technical terms – ‘doing it with it on a computer’ – that no laymen could really be expected to understand, the speech was a bold and idealistic vision of a 3D Britain.

“One of the things I most admire about Esther McVey, other than her effortless command of complex technical concepts, is that she lives simply in a 2D home, like normal people do,” said 102-year-old baffled racist and Tory party member Simon Williams.

“While grander folk like Boris and his highness Lord Rees-Mogg live in these fancy 3D houses you hear about, Esther has a simple 2D house like the rest of us.

“Not that Boris and his highness Lord Rees-Mogg don’t deserve better than us, of course they do. I know my place.”

It is expected that Ms McVey will continue to enjoy the conference on her 2D TV in her 2D sitting room in her 2D house.

We can only hope that, one day, perhaps when Boris has got Brexit done, we will see a country full of brand new 3D houses, but until then such a wonderful vision of the future remains in Esther McVey’s head.

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