Friday 27 September 2019 by Lucas Wilde

“I don’t understand 98 out of 100 gender identities, therefore they’re not real” claims moron


Piers Morgan gender identity

Some tosspot reckons anything he doesn’t understand isn’t real.

Simon Williams, 38, is an accounts manager from Birmingham who has stoutly refused to learn anything new since leaving formal education in 1996.

This includes the concept of gender identities, of which there are now over 100 whether people such as Simon and Piers Morgan like it or not.

“It’s bollocks,” declared Simon, with all the confidence of a mediocre man with a closed mind.

“There’s two innit. Male..and the other one what does the sandwiches. Heh heh hehhh…

“I’m joking. I mean birds, obviously.

“Come on, it’s daft innit? Everyone’s the same. There’s no rich tapestry of humanity out there like that really, if we’re honest, and I say that as a man who’s traveled as far as Cromer.”

“It’s confusing to me that anybody would gender-identify beyond what I’m familiar with, and I’ve deliberately chosen not to go out and actually learn what terms such as non-binary, gender-fluid, asexual or polysexual mean, so I’ve decided it’s all nonsense and should stop.”

Simon’s mother, with whom he still lives, said “to be fair, there is an awful lot that Simon doesn’t understand such as algebra, particle physics, or how to move out of my basement.”

“He doesn’t dismiss any of those as falsehoods though, except the latter.”

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