Wednesday 25 September 2019 by Lucas Wilde

US Democrats to begin impeaching Trump and losing 2020 election


Nancy Pelosi

The Democrats are making a martyr out of Donald Trump. Again.

The party are beginning impeachment proceedings against the President which will take ages, cost money and give the President yet more reasons to tell his base about “the swamp”, “witch hunts” and such and such.

Most crucially, the impeachment proceedings are forecast to achieve precisely fuck-all beyond making Trump look like a battle-hardened survivor of Washington politics.

“These impeachment proceedings are as necessary as they are ultimately pointless,” confirmed senior Democrat, Simon Williams.

“We will hopefully prove that the President said something to the Ukraine that was dodgy and, despite the fact that no American President has ever been removed via impeachment, that will be the end of Donald Trump. This time. For sure. 28th time’s a charm.

“I’m sure not even Donald Trump’s base of supporters would be silly enough to think he’s some kind of martyr here.”

Trump supporter, Randy McBurger, said, “Trump is the ultimate martyr.

“He’s draining the swamp and they don’t like it, so they’re trying to get rid of him. A chimp could see what they’re doing.

“They have made absolutely sure that I won’t be voting Democrat.”

Sensible person, Jay Cooper, said, “Actually I won’t be voting Democrat either, because all of this just looks desperate, petty and expensive now.

“Is Ralph Nader still a thing? Could I vote for him? If not then I’ll just stay at home on voting day.”

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