Sunday 22 September 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Documentary reveals brief four day window in 1998 when David Cameron didn’t f**k anything up


David Cameron

There was a stunning revelation in Friday night’s David Cameron documentary as it was revealed that there was a brief period of four days in 1998 when he didn’t f**k anything up.

He was working for the broadcaster Carlton Communications after his early work as a rising star in the Tory Part included the largest ever majority for a Labour government and failing to be selected as a Tory candidate because he missed a train.

“It was between and Friday and Monday in April of that year,” explained Mr Cameron using his weird laminated face.

“I remember it well, because I managed to go a full four days without f**king anything up.

“I mean, I’d never done that before and haven’t done it since. I might go for an hour without announcing a catastrophic referendum or perhaps a day without introducing a cruel and brutal programme of austerity, but four days? Without f**king anything up? I wish I could remember how I did that.

“It is, I think, the time of my life of which I am most proud.”

It is understood that since the documentary was filmed, Mr Cameron went for two days without f**king anything up and believed he was on course to break his personal record but, sadly, he f**ked up by revealing how he’d managed to embroil the Queen in one of his calamitous referendum campaigns.

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