Saturday 21 September 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Global leaders announce plans to hope climate catastrophe sorts itself out


World leaders climate change

In response to huge climate protests around the world, leaders from all nations have announced plans to hope it all sorts itself out.

The plans have been agreed by 156 out of 195 countries, and will be implemented immediately.

“I am pleased to be on television,” announced President Macron of France, before adding “to announce an agreement amongst leaders from around the globe to hope this whole climate thing sorts itself out.

“All countries have pledged to begin hoping it all sorts itself out with immediate effect. So I’m sure we will see some real results in the coming months and years.”

Other leaders were quick to agree.

“I hereby promise to really hope the climate catastrophe sorts itself out,” pledged British ‘Prime’ Minister Boris Johnson before going on to do anything but hope that the climate catastrophe sorts itself out.

Canada’s first black Prime Minister Justin Trudeau revealed he had signed up to the plans.

“Irie, irie. ‘Ear me know. Me am pledge to hope climate catastrophe sort itself out. Rastafari! Jah!”

Finally, President Trump clarified his thoughts on the matter.

“Everyone like President. Radical Democrat CNN Hillary Fake News WEATHER,” he tweeted.

It is currently anticipated that the climate catastrophe could render large portions of the planet uninhabitable within a generation.

Happily the billions of people who will be left huddling together on the few land-masses that remain above sea-level will now be able to take comfort in the fact that the generation before them hoped everything would sort itself out.

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: