Friday 20 September 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Shock new David Cameron claim: ‘I could have shagged the Queen’


queen fancies David Cameron

There was another shocking revelation about David Cameron’s relationship with the Queen as last night’s documentary about his time in office revealed he believed she ‘fancied him’ and was ‘definitely up for a shag’.

The former worst Prime Minister of all time claimed there was a spark the first time that they met.

“Yes, I would say that there was definitely an attraction on her part, and who can blame her?” he chuckled.

“I walked into out first meeting and she took one look at me and asked me to form a Government. Now, come on, you don’t ask someone you’ve just met if they want to form a government unless there’s some pretty serious vibing going on.

“She fancied me. There was no doubt in my mind.”

As time went on Mr Cameron was aware that the Queen’s infatuation with him was only growing stronger.

“Totally. I wore a tight suit one day and she couldn’t take her eyes off me. Another time I had a new haircut and, she didn’t say anything, but you get definitely tell that she liked it.”

Mr Cameron believed that after six months of weekly meetings, Britain’s longest-serving monarch was ready to take things further.

“She was definitely up for a shag, it was obvious. And those private meetings we have together? I could have done it as well, but I thought – ‘No, Dave, think about the constitutional crisis of the Prime Minister shagging the Queen’ – and never made a move.

“Probably for the best.”

It is expected that tonight’s second part of the documentary will go into further detail about Mr Cameron’s relationship with the Queen including the time he was ‘fairly sure’ she wasn’t wearing underwear and another time she bent over to pour the tea and he could ‘totally see down her top’.

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