Queen “thoroughly f*cked off” confirms Palace

author avatar by 4 years ago

David Cameron has annoyed the Queen with his loose lips once again.

After divulging to the BBC that he sought help from Her Majesty during the Scottish independence referendum, the former Prime Minister received a very shouty phone call from representatives at Buckingham Palace.

“We were going to say that Her Majesty is “displeased”, but let’s call a spade a spade here, she’s thoroughly fucked off” confirmed a Palace spokesperson.

“She watched the interview on the BBC and as soon as David started talking about her she growled “get my name out of your mouth, you shiny prick” while shattering a sherry glass in her hand.”

“Then he let loose the idea that she might have interfered in politics in some small way and she went absolutely batshit. I don’t know how we will get that stain out of the carpet and that window is going to cost the earth to fix.”

“I do wish the former Prime Minister would stop writing books and appearing on television. It never does anybody any good.”