Thursday 19 September 2019

Media confirms the parents of sick children must announce their political affiliations before anyone listens to their concerns


concerned couple

The media has spoken out regarding the incident involving Boris Johnson’s denial of reality in a London hospital yesterday, insisting that the concerned parents of sick children should only be allowed to address the prime minister once we know their voting history.

After Boris Johnson was taken to task over the state of the NHS after nine years of Tory control by a concerned parent, some media commentators have felt compelled to point out that the concerned parent actually supported the other guy.

Daily Mail reporter Simon Williams said, “I mean, yes, he made some good points about the NHS, he made them articulately and vociferously, and he made Boris look quite stupid with that whole ‘there’s no press here’ thing – but he supports Boris’ opponent, so can you really take him seriously?

“Ok, yes, his young child was in the hospital – and had been all night – so it’s not like he ambushed Boris, but still, can you really consider his opinions sincere knowing that he doesn’t like Boris in the first place?

“Everyone knows this great nation of ours was built on the foundation that the opinions of the public only hold validity if they vote the right way.”

Meanwhile, the Downing Street media team has addressed its protocols for Boris’ future public appearances by ensuring that only fawning acolytes will be allowed within fifty feet of him during future walkabouts.

They explained, “We don’t really have any choice, because in each and every location Boris has visited on his recent tour, he’s been told in no uncertain terms to ‘fuck off’ by the locals.

“But they all voted Labour so their opinions don’t count, obviously.”

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