Former MP Chris Grayling releases autobiography without any paper in it

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Former Transport Secretary Chris Grayling attempts to emulate David Cameron in releasing an autobiography has resulted in it being released containing no pages whatsoever.

True to his entire tenure in the Cabinet, the Keystone Cops of ministers tried to justify all his decisions in the Transport, Employment and Justice departments, as well as events as Leader of the House of Commons.

Ghostwriter, Simon Williams, said, “Well, it’s a political career that makes Frank Spencer look like Norman Tebbit.

“I mean, it’s comedic event after comedic event. From hiring a shipping company with no ships to costing the taxpayer £500m to ‘privatise’ the probation service. From causing the government to being sued by EuroTunnel to opening a Transport Ministry car door into an oncoming cyclist.

“Even hiring me as a ghostwriter. I was only passing to get back to working in the postroom.

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“But what can you expect from someone who was genuinely born on April Fools’ Day?”

He has sent Matt Hancock on a book-signing tour to promote the farcical tome.