Thursday 12 September 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Government advisors baffled as Boris Johnson’s pants keep catching on fire


Boris trousers on fire

Prime Minister Boris Johnson suffered a further embarrassing wardrobe malfunction earlier today when his pants caught on fire midway through an interview regarding the Scottish Court ruling on prorogation.

Mr Johnson was speaking to reporters outside ten Downing Street, and as he said that the prorogation was absolutely necessary to introduce a new Parliamentary session, smoke began to pour from beneath his suit jacket. Then, as he promised to achieve a Brexit deal that would make Britain stronger, the gathered press began to smell the pungent stench of singed cotton.

It was as the prime minister stated that he definitely hadn’t lied to the Queen about his intentions with prorogation that his pants fully burst into flames.

He was immediately bundled back inside the building by aides carrying fire extinguishers and a spokesperson quickly appeared to explain that they had no idea why the Prime Minister’s pants had caught fire.

At this point the spokesperson’s pants immediately caught fire and she too was bundled back into the building.

She was quickly replaced by another spokesperson who claimed that the only possible explanation for both the Prime Minister’s and a spokesperson’s pants catching fire must be a defect in the standard-issue Tory pants.

His pants then caught fire and the entire press call was abandoned.

It is understood that Dominic Cummings has instructed the prime minister to conduct all future interviews completely bereft of pants of any description, a move considered to be best for the safety of all concerned – apart from the women.

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