Parents left frustrated as MP declares he’s ‘so bored’ on first day of five-week prorogation

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MP Simon Williams has left his parents exasperated after insisting he is ‘so totally bored’ on the first day of his five-week prorogation.

Williams, a backbench Tory MP who has only been in parliament since 2015, spent the first hour of the day colouring in and watching television, before telling his parents he was bored.

“Oh Christ, we’ve got five more weeks of this,” lamented Simon’s father, Derek.

“I’ll be honest, we had hoped this sort of thing would have ended when he left school back in the late eighties, but it appears we were wrong.

“We’ve offered him a trip to the zoo, ice-cream for lunch and even the opportunity to stay up late and watch some of his favourite programmes, but he’s just going around in a huff insisting everything we suggest is ‘totally rubbish’.

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“Apparently some of his friends from parliament are doing exciting things like Brexit negotiations and foreign trips, but I’ve explained that those MPs aren’t backbenchers and their parents could probably afford to get them jobs like that.”

We spoke to Williams, who was just finishing a picture of a rainbow with the paints his parents had given him this morning.

“Last night I was excitedly shouting abuse at John Bercow, and now this morning I’m sat here bored rigid doing paintings of ‘things that make me happy’ because my mum thinks it would be good for me.

“These paints are rubbish, look at them all wet and mixed together. God my parents are so lame.

“If they were any good we’d be on our way to Disneyland.”