Monday 9 September 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Anti-Vaxxers hurriedly announce plans to prevent eradication of Malaria


anti-vaxxers

After a major new report set out steps to defeat Malaria in a generation, anti-vaccination groups have hurriedly announced plans to mitigate the report’s recommendations and prevent the eradication of the deadly disease.

Anti-vaccination groups have largely focused on preventing the eradication of Measles and Mumps in recent years, so the prevention of the eradication of Malaria will need a considerable escalation in their activity.

“Preventing the eradication of Malaria is going to be a huge challenge, but I think we’re up to it,” explained leading anti-vaxxer Simon Williams.

“We will work with our usual technique of suggesting that any potential Malaria vaccines are really bad because chemicals.

“We’ll then go on a lot about nature and how you should treat Malaria with leaves and air and how if you die then at least you won’t die of chemicals.”

Mr Williams will make use of the Internet to spread his message.

“Yes, that’s where all the stupid people live and if we get enough of them to be afraid of chemicals then society will develop a sort of herd-reluctance to treat and prevent Malaria.

“That way we can ensure that people will catch Malaria for years to come.”

Mr Williams also took time to explain why anti-vaxxers were so vehemently against the eradication of deadly diseases.

“That’s easy,” he chuckled.

“We’re all a bunch of complete fucking bastards.”

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