With the government’s Brexit strategy left in tatters after parliament voted to prevent no deal, and many referendum promises already broken, Brexiters who’ve spent over three years saying ‘you lost, get over it’ are still waiting to find out precisely what they’ve won.
With the third anniversary of the Brexit vote disappearing over the horizon, the mystery Brexit prize is still causing much excitement among patriotic Brits who are delighted they’ve successfully taken back control, despite watching what can best be described as a ‘clusterfuck’ unfold before their very eyes over the last three years.
“I can’t wait to find out what it is that we’ve won,” enthused Simon Williams of Brexit campaign group A Nation United in Sovereignty (ANUS).
“I am hoping it’s a car or a nice holiday, something big and expensive now we’re not wasting all that money on massive pensions for those corrupt faceless Eurocrats Nigel Farage warned us about.
“Not a boat though, because I haven’t got anywhere to keep it and I can’t swim.”
Others have insisted that they don’t care what the prize is, as they’re going to love it regardless because it will have the smell of victory attached to it.
Leave voter Dave Matthews told us, “We won, so I don’t even need to know what we’ve won – it’s obviously going to be brilliant.
“It’s like visiting the fair when it comes to town, that small made-in-China teddy bear that you won after spending a tenner trying to throw hoops over bottles definitely makes you a winner.
“It doesn’t matter that the same toy would have been much cheaper and much less hassle if you’d just gone and bought it directly from the local market – the fact that you won it makes it worth every penny you might have wasted ‘winning’ it.
“So call Brexit a shambles, call it an impending catastrofuck, I don’t care – because I won and you lost so get over it.”