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Campaigners for the Liberal Democrats have been bulk-buying hard-wearing sandals and chunky walking socks for all the legwork they’ll be doing in the next few weeks.
Suppliers of knee shorts for middle-aged men have reported a rush on sales as centrist candidates and their supporters prepare to spread the Social Democrat message.
Branches of Waitrose and farmers markets have reported a sharp rise in the number of Volvos in their car parks today, suggesting that Lib Dem strategists are stockpiling ready to start the campaign as soon as it is announced.
“It’s vital I’m well-prepared,” said veteran Liberal Democrat parliamentary candidate Simon Williams.
“We could be out hammering the streets for days so I’ve bought a new thermos and plenty of silver paper for wrapping my sandwiches in before I put them in my Tupperware container.
“Both me and the tyres on my bicycle are pumped up. Whenever the election happens, I’m fully prepared to get out there and lose it again.”
