Thursday 29 August 2019 by Hannah Fox

Leave voter still waiting for someone to tell him if he should be angry or not


confused brexiter

Leave voter Simon Williams has been waiting a full 24 hours for someone to tell him whether to be angry or not.

Simon told reporters, “My mate Wraggy’s a member of the Brexit Party and usually tells me what the news is, as I wouldn’t be caught dead watching the news, and reading isn’t really my thing. But Wraggy’s retired to Spain and no one else knows what ‘Proroguing’ means.

“Boris Johnson’s clearly got the working man’s best interests at heart, so he’s got my full loyalty with the proroguing thing. Unless it means he’s cancelling Brexit, in which case I’ll be the one to hang, draw and quarter him. Whatever that means, I’ve never been much good at history.

“He’s a real patriot, like me. You see my Grandfather’s neighbour’s paperboy fought in world war two, which is why I wear this Help for Heroes badge, so I know a thing or two about protecting democracy.

“Our country has defeated the Nazi’s twice now, and freed the people of Bosnia, so the sooner we can get these immigrants out, the better.

“Maybe proroguing means sending them all back? I’m going to go find the nearest pub with a Union Jack over the door that serves an all-day breakfast to get up to speed on what these sneaky anti-democracy Remoaners are up to.

“Because Brexit is about returning democracy, so if this proroguing is anti-democratic – like people keep saying – then I should be angry about it, right? But now I’m being told I should be happy about ignoring democracy this way, because it will make me less angry in the long-run.

“It’s all very confusing.  Look, I’ve gone to the trouble of picking up this brick, can someone at least tell me whether I need to throw it through a window or not?”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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