Johnson Government downgraded to junta

author avatar by 4 years ago

The current Johnson Government has officially been reclassified as a junta following yesterday’s decision to suspend Parliament.

Johnson himself has been reclassified as a Tin-pot dictator, which is defined as ‘a dictator with abnormally low levels of competence in the job’.

“The Johnson Government? It’s on a par with one of those fictional, corrupt governments you’d find in a Harrison Ford film,” explained Eleanor Gay, a Professor of dreadful governments at Oxford University.

Many people have claimed that the government should actually be known as a ‘corrupt dictatorship’.

“No, I don’t think we’re quite there yet,” said Professor Gay.

“Johnson hasn’t yet organised any purges of intellectuals or shut down any news outlets. We haven’t seen any ‘re-education’ camps set up anywhere, although there have been reports of building work outside Coventry, so we’ll see what that is.”

Remarkably, some people seemed content to live in a junta run by a Tin-pot dictator.

“Living in under a junta is exactly what I had in mind when I voted Tory,” said Simon Williams, a credulous idiot from Cheshunt.

“I don’t mind the suspension of Parliament, and I’d welcome the rounding up of intellectuals, foreigners and undesirables because I’m not in any of those groups.

“Frankly, I’m hoping he brings in a Thought Police because if, like me, you’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve got nothing to fear.”

It is understood that Johnson is unconcerned with his government being reclassified as a junta and is currently demanding his cabinet refer to him as ‘Dear Leader’ and his trying to figure out exactly how many sons he has in order to organise a line of succession.