Thursday 29 August 2019 by Davywavy

Gamer surprised to learn a Prorogue isn’t an 8th level Thief


thief levelling up

Local gamer Simon Williams has been surprised to learn today that all this talk about Proroguing isn’t about levelling up your thief character and getting another feat and some more skill points.

Simon had assumed that the outrage about the government proroguing was due to someone adding another stat point despite not having enough XP, and was taken aback to discover that people were actually discussing fundamental questions regarding the British constitution.

“Eighth level is where you really move from being an amateur burglar to a professional rogue so it kinda made sense,” he said. “You get improved uncanny dodge so people trying to flank you are screwed.

“And then it’s on to 5d6 sneak attack damage and you’re pretty much unstoppable – especially if you multiclass with cleric and use a longspear.

“What all that has got to do with whether the Queen can dissolve parliament I don’t know. Unless it’s the Queen of the Demonweb, in which case I reckon Lolth could make all kinds of improvements to Westminster.”

When asked to comment on the current state of British politics, Simon observed “It’s pretty obvious Boris Johnson is that happy-go-lucky gnome who the player thinks you all love and you actually hate with a burning passion, and Jo Swinson is basically the DMs new girlfriend who has been given a character way beyond her ability to play it.

”Nicola Sturgeon is only in the game at all because Alex Salmond cast Find Familiar.

“And Jeremy Corbyn is that guy who shows up with dozens of pages of closely written backstory which nobody cares about, and always bloody refuses to use any of the charges in the wand of fireballs he managed to grab.”

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