Friday 23 August 2019 by Chris Ballard

Prince William accosted on budget airline by hen do wielding giant inflatable cocks


Flybe with Prince William

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge soon regretted their decision to take a Flybe flight to Scotland when a hen party took a keen interest in the Prince.

Fresh off the back of their private jet controversy the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge thought it would be a good idea to take a budget airline flight from Norwich to Scotland.

Simon Williams was also on the flight and witnessed what happened next.

“Things went pretty smoothly for them at first,” he said.

“Being royals they had priority boarding – before less important passengers like children and wheelchair users.

“However, as soon as the seatbelt signs were switched off a pissed hen and her entourage descended upon their ‘Prince Charming’ like something out of Day of the Dead.

“The bride-to-be placed an L plate over the Duke’s crotch and pretended to fellate him with a sex doll while tunelessly singing ‘One day my Prince will come’.

“A bodyguard tried to intervene but comedy breasts were hung around his neck and he was whisked into a toilet, never to be seen again.

“Kate was visibly seething and was obviously weighing up the consequences of lamping these bitches.

“‘What are those mummy?’ asked Princess Charlotte as two giant inflatable penises were shoved into her father’s face.

“Ask your Aunty Meghan,” Kate snapped through clenched teeth.

“William’s life was saved only by the clinking of the drinks trolley. At this point, the hens hadn’t had a G&T in about twenty minutes so they raced back to their seats and scrambled for their purses.

“I imagine the lesson learnt by the royals is ‘Fuck the climate, these people deserve to burn’.”

One benefit of the flight was that Prince William finally got over the death of his mother when Flybe restricted his baggage allowance.

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