Looking like a dimwitted oaf who can’t use furniture is a triumph for Boris Johnson, claims Telegraph

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The Daily Telegraph has leapt to the defence of their former columnist and insisted that a photo, of the PM grinning inanely while putting his feet up on a table at the Elysee Palace, was not a national humiliation but a great symbol of a resurgent confident Britain.

Senior Editor Simon Williams explained that looking like a rural simpleton who had a good day at the races was a great way to convince EU leaders to drop the backstop.

“You need to understand the European mindset. I have a summer house in some unpronounceable village in the Dordogne so I know how their mind works. By being told to look ill-mannered and then letting himself be photographed like that, is how wily Boris shows them he is a breath of fresh air and they need to rethink how they deal with Britain.

“He was certainly not manipulated into making Macron look statesmanlike and in control while he came off as an over-excited imbecile who just spent 10 minutes working the light switch in open-mouthed delight.”

A spokesman for the Elysée Palace refused to comment on speculation his boss had easily tricked Boris Johnson into a snapshot that made Macron look like a patient hotel manager discreetly explaining to a staying yokel how flush toilets worked.

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He went on, “We were delighted to receive your Prime Minister and we cordially invite him to come over as much as he wants.

“And certainly not because President Macron needs to distract from his domestic problems by presenting himself as the leader of 27 mature sophisticated nations firmly dealing with some self-destructive angry peasants on a rampage.”