Doctors uncover link between children getting measles and their parents being morons

author avatar by 5 years ago

As the UK lost its ‘measles-free’ designation from the World Health Organisation, doctors have discovered a link between children who get measles and the likelihood of their parents being gullible simpletons.

With 231 cases confirmed in the first three months of 2019, medical professionals are keen to address to root cause of measles amongst the nation’s children – thick parents.

Dr Simon Williams told us, “It’s a sad indictment of the nation’s parenting skills that hundreds of thousands of them are too dim to realise they are risking their child’s health by not getting them vaccinated.

“They think they’re doing to the right thing because they read a fake news article about vaccines on a website that has the word ‘natural’ in the domain name.

“The real challenge isn’t to get more children vaccinated, it’s to stop more parents being ridiculously gullible online. If we can stop them believing evidence-free nonsense about vaccines, then children will get vaccinated.

“Unfortunately, a lot of them are too stupid to realise how stupid they are being.  There’s very little we can do help them, unfortunately.

“If you’re not clear on just how dim they are, just look at the memes they will inevitably post in the comments beneath this article.”

Researchers have suggested that if parents won’t listen to the medical experts on vaccines, maybe they should take a look at the sort of people who are aguing against vaccines, like well-known moron-herders Katie Hopkins and David Icke.

Williams went on, “At the end of the day, we assume the anti-vaxx movement actually wants to keep their children healthy.  But maybe they’re just really into infant mortality?

“Or maybe they’re just doing what they can to address global over-population by culling a portion of each generation using preventable diseases.  It’s the only thing that makes their position look sensible.”