Students who were out last night celebrating their A-level results awoke this morning in a cold sweat after dreaming they were in an A-level exam they were hopelessly underprepared for.
They say that A-levels are the hardest exams you ever sit. Perhaps that’s why everyone who does so spends the rest of their life having recurring dreams about not being able to do any of the maths paper they actually passed with flying colours.
Jake Williams got his results yesterday.
“I got four As!” he said. “All that hard work, coffee and frequent masturbation really paid off.
“But last night I had this awful dream.
“I was sitting my maths exam – just like I did in real life last month – but couldn’t understand the questions.
“It was only as I stared down at the weird symbols and squiggles that I remembered I was supposed to have been learning all this stuff for the past two years – but I hadn’t!
“I had a vague notion that I had the textbooks and was definitely planning to do the work at some point – but time had just got away from me and suddenly I was in the exam and completely unprepared!
“Trying to apply exam technique I kept moving on to the next question – but each was more incomprehensible than the last.
“Jesus, I’ve never felt such a sense of rising panic. It was genuinely terrifying.
“It was such a relief when I woke up and realised all that nonsense was behind me.
“Hope I don’t have any more dreams like that!”
Don’t worry Jake, it’ll just be about once a week for the rest of your life.