Friday 16 August 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Squabbling over who’s in charge is the priority for Remain movement, confirm inspiring leaders


Jo Swinson squabbling over who leads GNU

The inspiring leaders of the movement to push back against Brexit and keep Britain in Europe have confirmed that their priority remains to fight amongst themselves over exactly whose in charge of the whole thing.

It is thought that many agree that Labour’s plan to table a vote of no-confidence in Boris Johnson and install a temporary government with a view to holding a second EU referendum is viable and could prevent the disaster of a no-deal Brexit.

However, squabbling over who runs the movement and is therefore installed as the temporary Prime Minister apparently still takes priority over actually implementing the plan.

“I should be leader because I’ve got the nicest beard and the Labour Party membership thinks I’m brilliant,” insisted Jeremy Corbyn.

Green Party leader Caroline Lucas hit back immediately.

“Jeremy Corbyn can’t be in charge because he’s not a lady and ladies are best. I’m a lady.”

New Liberal Democrat leader Jo Swinson was also keen to throw her hat into the ring.

“Surely I should be leader, because I’ve got a ‘bollocks to Brexit’ t-shirt and I’m not even embarrassed about it.”

A man from the SNP painted his face blue and shouted freedom and someone from Plaid Cymru was probably there too.

The inspiring leadership did take a moment to reassure the people of Britain who think they should all just stop bickering and just do something before it’s all too late.

“There is no cause for concern, we will spend just a little more time squabbling about who is in charge, and then we’ll swing into action and implement a genius plan to halt Brexit and save Britain,” explained Simon Williams, a spokesperson for the inspiring leadership of the Remain movement.

“Should be ready to go in the first week of November.”

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