Thursday 15 August 2019 by Lucas Wilde

Jeremy Corbyn shocks nation by actually doing something


Jeremy Corbyn does something

Britain was stunned into silence today after Jeremy Corbyn showed signs of activity.

The wise companion from every game of Dungeons and Dragons you’ve ever played today outlined plans to defeat a no-deal Brexit by calling on a vote of no confidence in the government and then forming a caretaker administration before a general election.

“Wow, that’s actually amazing,” said political pundit, Simon Williams.

“Not the idea itself, I’ve not decided on that yet, just the fact he’s had an idea at all and then actually talked about it. To the public.

“It’s like when Hawkeye does something important in an Avengers movie. You just don’t expect it at all.”

Labour spokesperson, Malcolm Forrest, said, “Jeremy has lots of ideas, actually.

“Only yesterday he was saying we should take a look at the biscuits we serve in Labour HQ as he finds the chocolate digestives a bit too snazzy.

“That’s just one off the top of my head. There are definitely others. Definitely.”

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