Disappointment that Jeremy Corbyn’s plan to prevent a no-deal Brexit doesn’t involve armed insurrection

author avatar by 5 years ago

Jeremy Corbyn has announced plans for a no-confidence vote followed by a temporary government to prevent a no-deal Brexit.

Whilst warmly received in some quarters, there was widespread disappointment that the plan appeared not to feature any sort of armed insurrection.

“Well, I’m pleased that Corbyn and the Labour Party have finally put forward a sensible suggestion that could help us out of this mess, but I must confess, I was hoping for a little more violence in the whole process,” explained Simon Williams, a normal British person who’s had to endure nearly ten years of ruinous Tory government.

“I mean, we’ve had austerity followed by Brexit followed by Boris Johnson, you can’t tell me that someone doesn’t deserve their head on a pike for all that.”

Mr Williams joined others in calling for Mr Corbyn to perhaps include a few days of violent uprising into his scheme.

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He went on, “I’m not being greedy, maybe we could start out with some light rioting, then have the army refuse to get involved, then a dramatic march on Downing Street, a sacking of Number 10, and finally pop Boris’s head on a pike.

“After that, Corbyn can crack on with his no-confidence plan, which is great, but I just think it would be good if everyone could work off a little steam first.”

It is understood that Mr Corbyn is now considering introducing a few days of violent insurrection into his plan on the condition that no one smashes up his allotment greenhouse.

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