A man has endured his wife’s 24-hour labour with flying colours.
Simon Williams is today feeling very pleased with himself after displaying the courage and determination necessary to survive the ordeal that is childbirth.
“I’d been working hard all night counting Karen’s contractions before we even went into hospital,” he said. “So I had to dig deep into my energy reserves to handle what happened next.
“When we got to the delivery suite disaster struck – the TV wasn’t working!
“It was Saturday morning and I’d be missing Football Focus! Karen was also very upset about this but I told her all that moaning wasn’t going to help.
“Then the tea trolley came around and they said they were only permitted to give us one drink! I shall be writing to the hospital Trust – letting my wife go thirsty like that!
“When the midwife said it was likely to be at least a couple more hours I went for lunch in the hospital canteen. Karen was extremely lucky to miss that let me tell you – urgh, that soggy pasta!
“Karen had told me beforehand that she wanted to avoid taking any drugs but I knew that the pain and lethargy of Labour would cloud her judgement.
“Refusing to sign the epidural consent form as my wife screamed in agony for the nineteenth consecutive hour was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
“And then suddenly – poof! It was over. Like a sneeze I suppose.
“Would I do it again? Absolutely!
“It’s funny how quickly you forget the pain isn’t it?”