Daily Mail readers relieved that Nigel Farage’s anti-Royal rant actually just racist

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Nigel Farage’s anti-royal tirade had Daily Mail readers worried for a minute but they’ve now realised his target was perfectly valid – the funny foreign-looking one.

When Nigel Farage – one of the most popular men in Britain – questioned the popularity of Prince Harry, the Daily Mail readership nearly had a collective coronary.

“It’s okay, panic over,” said spokesman for the Daily Mail subscriber society Simon Williams.

“Nobody loves a bit of unprovoked hate projectile vomited over an innocent target more than we do.

“However, when Farage laid into the Royal family we did get a little concerned.

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“On reflection though, he was actually making a lot of sense.

“Harry’s popularity has only been impacted by him marrying that Meghan immigrant. To use a perfectly harmless analogy, it’s like when a plague-ridden rat finds its way into the pantry and infects all the food.

“A bit of poison should do the trick.

“As for Farage’s criticism of Charles, well that was simply based on the Prince’s belief in the wacky conspiracy theory that our lifestyles are somehow killing the Earth.

“Everyone in their right mind knows that the single-use plastic that ends up in the ocean eventually goes over the waterfall at the edge of the world and into space.

“And of course Nigel’s comments were actually very in favour of Her Majesty, as he hopes she lives a long time to prevent Charles becoming king.”

The Queen is apparently seriously considering faking her own death just to see the look on Nigel Farage’s face.