Tuesday 6 August 2019 by Arabin Patson

Daily Mail claims migrant crisis on verge of catastrophe as Frenchman crosses Channel on hoverboard


hoverboard migrants

The Daily Mail has started another anti-migrant campaign after it was revealed that a Frenchman had used a jet-powered hoverboard to cross the Channel without any hindrance from the UK’s Border Force.

Franky Zapata, a verified foreigner, and creator of the hoverboard, landed in Dover after a 22-minute flight and was not even taken to a G4S secure facility for interrogation, claimed the paper.

Simon Williams, the newspaper’s political editor responsible for the Mail’s investigation into the scandal of foreign languages being taught in British schools, explained that the flight showed the UK had lost control.

He went on, “Migrants are laughing at us all the way to their palatial council houses. They know we are a soft touch and we will open the floodgates to any Johnny Foreigner who can invent and develop pioneering aviation technology.

“This is why need to leave the EU as soon as possible. We need to regain control of our borders. Boris Johnson is a man we can trust to tell would-be settlers that this is a country that looks to the past, not the future.

“We will launch a public campaign demanding that once we leave the shackles of the EU, the government creates Home Guard units to watch the coast in case migrants try to use their advanced technological knowledge and physical courage to come here and take advantage of our benefits system.

“We are a proud nation that can’t sort out a high-speed rail link between London and the Midlands. We demand to be protected from flying foreigners and progress!”

I think, therefore I am (not a Daily Mail reader) – get the t-shirt!

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