Monday 5 August 2019

Fox News reports that ‘mass shootings will go global’ as soon as other countries get video games


Fox news on mass shootings

Fox News is this evening reporting that mass shootings, which have become a daily occurrence in the United States, will likely be seen around the world as soon as they get video games.

The right-wing news source has been quick to lay the blame for this weekend’s mass shootings at the feet of violent video games, which it insists the shooters played regularly.

Their position has been evidenced by the fact that violent video games exist in America, which is where the mass shootings are happening.

Reporters for the channel have gone so far as to warn other countries to prepare for a tidal wave of mass shootings, just as soon as video games appear on their shores.

Fox technology correspondent Chuck Williams told viewers, “We need to stop violent video games, and that will definitely stop mass shootings – I don’t get why the liberals don’t understand this.

“If you think we’re wrong, then you just wait until violent video games are available in other countries, and you watch their mass shooting numbers go through the roof.

“It’s not a coincidence that games like Fortnite and the Call of Duty franchise have millions of users in the United States, and then our kids go on killing sprees. The logic is bulletproof, just like the backpacks our children now have to wear to school.”

Meanwhile, Sony has been left bemused at the accusations, insisting that the manufacture of $400 games consoles is hardly the same as making $400 bump stocks.

As one Sony executive explained, “They’ll have to prise our DualShock controller from our cold dead hands.”

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