Ex-Transport Secretary Chris Grayling has been recovering from the stresses of Ministerial power by visiting the picturesque Derbyshire town of Whaley Bridge.
It’s tough being a Cabinet Minister. No matter how hard you try you just can’t seem to do right for doing wrong.
People hold little things against you – like gross incompetence.
But Grayling had a thick skin. He didn’t get where he was today by letting self-awareness hold him back.
He breathed in the country air and looked down at a spectacular view – the Toddbrook Reservoir glistening in the sun and, a bit further on, the small town of Whaley Bridge.
Grayling looked at his watch. The little hand was at the top – he was pretty sure that meant lunchtime.
He decided to picnic on the top of the dam.
Whistling tunelessly he unpacked his flask and laid it on the edge of the massive structure. He immediately knocked it over the side.
“Damn!” he said, making himself laugh at the incredibly witty pun.
Then he felt sad – the cleverest thing he’d ever said and no one was around to hear it.
He ate his lunch which consisted of three scotch eggs, a share-size bag of Skips and a Fry’s Chocolate Cream. His wife had also packed an apple but he didn’t like fruit – yuck!
There were no bins nearby. No matter, he could just throw his rubbish into the spillway – it’s not as if it would clog up or anything.
A smile on his face and a belly full of food, Grayling strolled on.
It started to rain.