Britons finding excuses to hang round in the supermarket freezer aisle

author avatar by 5 years ago

People are finding any excuse to linger in the supermarket freezer aisle for up to several hours at a time, according to reports today.

Slow-moving shoppers have been hanging out next to the Vienetta pretending to be deciding between frozen peas and Callippos for most of the day, whilst in reality making the most of the chance to reduce the temperature of their nethers by a few precious degrees.

Reports from major retailers suggest that fitting tills in the aisle so people could buy more and more iced lollies without actually having to move would have been a great move.

“It’s great that people are coming into our superstore”, said Simon Williams, manager at Kettering Morrisons.

“But it’d be nice if they’d buy something, or at least not sit directly in the chiller as they’re squashing the chips, and we’ve been finding hairs in the fish fingers that we don’t like to think where they’ve come from.”

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However, shoppers are unrepentant.

“Look, it’s the best part of forty degrees out,” one told us.

“And I’m going to make the most of the chance to press my sweaty body against the cold cabinet and sigh with relief until they call security to escort me from the shop.”

“I live here now.”