Wednesday 24 July 2019

Man who didn’t understand how our nation connects to other nations the obvious choice for Foreign Secretary


Dominic Raab Foreign Secretary

A man who was surprised to learn of the importance of Dover as a trading connection to the rest of the world, has obviously been made Foreign Secretary.

New prime minister Boris Johnson has been quick to fill his previous position at the Foreign Office, and apparently was keen to ensure the role was given to someone even more incompetent than himself.

A Downing Street insider told us, “Boris didn’t have the most stellar of times in the Foreign Office – with lots of high-profile gaffes, so it’s important that as PM he’s not outshone by whoever takes that job under him.  Dominic Raab was the obvious choice to do a job so catastrophically bad that everyone will forget Boris was also quite awful in that post.

“This is a man who didn’t understand the basic logistics of our relationship with the rest of the world, so he is obviously going to be an awful foreign secretary.  The worse he is, the better Boris will look in hindsight.

“It’s actually a genius appointment when you think about it.  If his Brexit secretary position is anything to by, we’ve probably got about four months until he realises he’s massively out of his depth and resigns. That’s a nice honeymoon period for Boris.

The voting public havs begun to wonder if the new PM is trolling the nation.

Voter Simon Williams told us, “As Brexit secretary, Raab was genuinely surprised to learn of the importance of our nation’s major ports. I guess as Foreign Secretary he’ll probably shit himself when he discovers how important our airports are.”

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