After Boris Johnson today cited the moon landings as inspiration for Brexit to succeed, NASA has confirmed that they also only succeeded in their mission by ignoring all the experts and hoping for the best.
Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, the Oxford-educated millionaire ‘man of the people’ who is expected to become Britain’s next Prime Minister, wrote in his Telegraph column “If they could use hand-knitted computer code to make a frictionless re-entry to Earth’s atmosphere in 1969, we can solve the problem of frictionless trade at the Northern Irish border”.
NASA spokesperson Buzz Williams told reporters this morning, “Boris Johnson is absolutely right, of course, although we didn’t use any computers at all, as a matter of fact – we just sort of hoped it would work out.”
He explained, “We had had enough of experts long before we set off for the moon, so we ignored all their advice and decided to turn off all the computers, and instead put as much fuel on the rocket as we could manage and then fired the thing blindly in the general direction of the moon, making sure we did so at night when we could see vaguely which direction it was in.
“It wasn’t some of the brightest minds in rocket science and experts in physics that put a guy on the moon’s surface – a small group of us just felt a surge of optimism, chucked the astronauts in the Apollo craft and fired their asses out of there, hoping for the best all along.”
He concluded, “It just goes to show that by ignoring all the experts and having an optimistic and patriotic approach, you can achieve anything, and we wish Britain all the best of luck with Brexit, which at a quick glance does seem even marginally more tricky to negotiate than landing on the moon.”