The UK has demanded that the Conservative leadership race be abandoned and that the head miner from the excellent TV series Chernobyl assumes control of the nation instead.
UK voter Simon Williams said, “I fully understand that the naked head miner guy is just a charismatic actor willing to get his full cock and balls out for dramatic effect, but he’s just what the UK needs in these difficult times.
“My wife hasn’t stopped talking about him since we watched it and I have to admit there is something about him. Alex Ferns can just stay in character and we can pretend that Brexit is the toxic smouldering remains of a nuclear reactor, which it sort of is actually.
“He wouldn’t mind being handed a fuckload of toxic shit, and I imagine he’d crack straight on knocking a few heads together and tunnelling us out of this mess.
“If anyone can sell a second referendum to the public, it’s that guy. Alright, there are pictures of his genitals freely available on the Internet, but that’s also true of Boris Johnson and the conservative party are still fully behind him.
“They are complete morons though, that’s true.”